092 Will Not Give Up

That night descended in utter stillness, the moonlight hazy as it spilled down, veiling everything in a faint glow. Insects chirped in a rising, rustling chorus.

The candle melted into its own tears, its weak flame trembling softly, much like Yun Xueyan as she lay upon the bed, fragile enough to seem as though a single touch would shatter her.

Feng Xilou sat beside the bed watching over her, tenderness overflowing in his dark eyes. He had stayed there for most of the night, his white robe creased from the long vigil, yet even so it could not hide his refined bearing.

Yun Xueyan lay upon the couch with serene grace, free of sorrow, free of hatred, like an immortal maiden.

Her face was so pale it seemed almost translucent. Her lashes shadowed her eyes, casting mottled darkness beneath them, while loose strands of hair fell across her brow. Feng Xilou reached out and gently smoothed the hair aside.

After a day of torment, he had finally pulled her back from the brink of death.

Today, when he burst into the Moon Pavilion and saw her struggling on the bed, all he could see was a wash of red. He had nearly gone mad.

It felt as though his heart had been ruthlessly crushed, leaving him breathless with the pain.

He did not even dare imagine what he would have done if she had died. Kill Duan Nanyu? Ruin Yun Xiyin? He absolutely would have done it.

The faint smile at the corner of his lips faded. He would never let her go back again.

"Yan'er, I don't care about a career in court, or reputation. I care about none of it. I no longer dare to gamble with you again, and I will never let you wander at the edge of death again."

His fingers gently stroked the blooming white lotus as memories of their first meeting returned to him.

She had been washing clothes alone, over and over kneading the fabric as if she meant to tear it apart, yet she never stopped. Watching her, he had forgotten to look away. That slender back showed him helplessness, and yet also a stubborn struggle.

Her fluster, her composure, all of it had fallen into his eyes, impossible to escape.

He remembered when they had gone together to set river lanterns and make wishes. In her delicate handwriting, she had written: one heart, one lifetime, one partner.

He could give her that wish. He was able to give it.

If Duan Nanyu still lived in her heart, then he would take that place. He would never allow Duan Nanyu to remain there.

With her, he wanted to be a little selfish. More than anything, he did not want her blinded by hatred because of everything that had happened today. That would destroy her.

Her long lashes quivered. Yun Xueyan's fingers trembled faintly, as though gripped by overwhelming fear. Her dry, pale lips slowly moved, struggling to force out a few words.

Feng Xilou bent lower, bringing his ear close to her mouth. His brows knotted tightly at once, and tenderness filled his warm eyes with pain.

"My child... Duan Nanyu, give me back my child... Duan Nanyu, you killed our child with your own hands..."

The broken, muddled words emerged little by little, until they formed a complete sentence in Feng Xilou's ears.

His heart was suddenly thrown into disorder, tangled with helpless aching pain. How deep must today's events have cut into her?

He covered her lips with his fingers, and his voice softened. Leaning close to her ear, he murmured, "Yan'er, it's all over now. There will be no more harm. No more... I will stay by your side forever. I will always be here."

He repeated it again and again, his voice growing ever gentler. Only when he saw her brow gradually smooth and the pained expression fade did he finally relax.

He remained by the bed, keeping watch as she once again slept with quiet serenity, yet his own heart could no longer be calm.

A note to readers:

Today's update is complete.