Chapter 33: My Heart Stands Clear

Shen Wanning’s gaze was resolute, and the hatred revealed within it made Shen Lang stiffen, leaving him speechless. As he pondered, he slowly loosened his grip on the reins.

Mist swirled in the low air. The mountains were occasionally punctuated by the calls of birds. The fall from the cliff to the bottom of the pool happened in the blink of an eye. As Shen Yuan sank into the water, she saw, through the shimmering ripples, Pei Ji plummeting into the surface. She had not expected that her rare attempt to manipulate Shen Wanning’s emotions would actually pay off. He was swimming toward her.

Shen Yuan closed her eyes and let her arms fall limp. Bereft of gravity, she drifted weightlessly toward the bottom of the pool. Fearing for her safety, Pei Ji disregarded the biting cold of the midwinter water and swam over urgently, pulling her waist into his embrace before surfacing. They looked disheveled and wretched.

"Afraid I would die?"

The moment she could breathe fresh air again, Shen Yuan wiped the blurring curtain of water from her face, her tone mocking and cold. Pei Ji did not want to trade barbs with her here. After reaching the shore, he found some dry branches by the side of the road and soon kindled a warm fire.

Shen Yuan did not know how many hours had passed, nor did she know if Shen Lang had been searching for her. But when she thought of the arrow he had fired, her eyes grew cold. Pei Ji finally noticed the abrasion on Shen Yuan’s right arm. He tore a large piece from his own clean undershirt and, using the bandaging techniques of the military, bound the wound. Although his movements were somewhat rough, they successfully staunched the bleeding for the time being.

Shen Yuan stared at the white cloth on her wound and muttered a casual "thank you." Taking advantage of the firelight, she took the opportunity to survey her surroundings. Beyond a few scattered stones and a dense, tangled forest by the pool, there was no visible path to leave.

"Knowing it was a cliff, why did you jump?"

The firelight reflected on Pei Ji’s face, making him look profoundly somber. His tone was heavy with accusation. If this hadn’t been a pool, but jagged rocks instead, would they not both have been buried here?

Shen Yuan did not consider such things. She sat opposite him, hugging her arms, her clear eyes devoid of any emotion as she calmly replied, "If it makes Shen Wanning unhappy, it was worth it."

"Is that all?"

"Yes."

"And you were certain I would jump after you?" A flicker passed through Pei Ji’s eyes.

Shen Yuan did not shy away. "Since you keep saying you want a fresh start with me, you should at least have that much courage."

Having spent two years in the Pei household, she understood his character perfectly. That was how she was able to render him speechless so accurately.

Pei Ji realized he had been used as a pawn. He poked at the branches in the fire, looking rather helpless. "I know the terrain of Mount Yinxiu well. This area is quite secluded and rarely visited. I doubt anyone will find us here for a while."

By all logic, when Shen Lang saw them jump, he should have sought rescue immediately; why was there still no news?

The firelight cast a rosy glow on Shen Yuan’s cheeks. She looked at her surroundings and said faintly, "Even if we grow old and die here, it doesn't matter."

"Are you giving up on avenging your grandmother?"

Shen Yuan replied, "As long as my life is preserved, I will stop at nothing."

Her answer was truly watertight.

"If we are the only two missing from the spring hunt, someone will surely make a great fuss." Pei Ji was worried that Shen Yuan would be slandered again. In contrast, she was completely indifferent, not even bothering to mention it. She raised her eyes and asked with a cold laugh, "Does the Commandant, famous throughout the capital, fear that I will tarnish his reputation?"

Pei Ji shook his head gently, a surge of heartache rising in his brows. His lips moved slightly: "I am worried about what it might do to you."

He often thought of the hardships Shen Yuan had endured. In the dead of night, he would ask himself why he hadn't been better to her back at the Pei estate, choosing instead to act aloof and forcing her to cater to him. The woman before him now, cold and detached, was a completely different person from Jiang Yao, who had once been forced to wear a smile just to survive.

"My engagement to Shen Wanning will be annulled," he said softly.

Shen Yuan’s eyelashes fluttered. She held her cold arms and remained silent.

"When the timing is right, I will have my mother come to offer a formal apology." Pei Ji looked up, his tone filled with guilt.

Shen Yuan shook her head and sighed softly, "It doesn't matter anymore."

Even if she could hear Lady Pei’s apology, the child who had never been born would not.

"He... how many months was he?"

The sudden mention made Pei Ji’s voice tremble. He had imagined many times a future with Shen Yuan surrounded by children, but he had never imagined her enduring the pain of losing a child on Mount Jiuyang. Pei Ji’s heart was shaking. He had prepared himself for a long time before asking this question, even practicing it many times at the estate.

"Five months," Shen Yuan answered calmly.

Pei Ji took a deep breath, his eyes turning slightly red. "Did you give him a name?"

Shen Yuan found it laughable and retorted with mockery, "He didn't even have a life; why would he need a name?"

Pei Ji picked up a branch to stoke the fire higher, a strange light appearing in his eyes. "A long time ago, I had already thought of a name for him."

"Zhaozhao—how is that?"

Hearing her words, Shen Yuan looked up in astonishment. A long time ago—how long ago? Was it when they first met? Or when they pledged their love?

"The bright moon can bear witness, my heart is as clear as the light."

Pei Ji’s voice was clear and gentle, drifting softly into Shen Yuan’s ears. Her heartbeat quickened, and she did not dare to look into his eyes.

Half an hour later, the spring hunt ended. All the noble ladies returned to their seats. Shen Wanning wiped the powder from her face, concealing her panic, and pretended that nothing had happened. She gave a wink to Lvluo, and soon a cry of surprise rang out: "Where is the Third Miss? Could she have eloped with another man again?"

Lvluo’s voice was loud enough for the neighboring tables to hear. Soon, others noticed that Shen Yuan was missing.

"The gentlemen who went hunting have all returned; why is Pei Ji not here?"

As the curtains swayed, the Empress narrowed her eyes, scanning the hunting grounds. As her most favored candidate, it was one thing not to have caught any game, but how could he simply be missing?

Once she spoke, everyone realized that both Shen Yuan and Pei Ji were gone! Combined with the maid’s talk of a secret meeting, could it be that the two of them...?

Shen Lang’s fingers curled into a fist. He subconsciously glanced at Shen Wanning, hiding a trace of panic. Hearing that Shen Yuan and Pei Ji were both missing, the Empress Dowager immediately sent people to search. The Emperor also ordered the Jinwu Guards to search every corner of Mount Yinxiu, in case they were truly having a secret tryst...

Shen Wanning felt strange gazes directed at her. She lifted her chin, not wanting to be looked down upon.

The Jinwu Guards combed through the entirety of Mount Yinxiu. Finally, as night fell, they discovered traces of Shen Yuan. Shen Wanning rushed over upon hearing the news. When she saw that Shen Yuan was alone, she was filled with astonishment. Shen Lang, who arrived shortly after, was also stunned, but a search of the vicinity revealed no sign of Pei Ji. There was not even a single piece of a man's clothing to be found.

With the sound of clinking jewelry, the Empress Dowager appeared, supported by a retinue of concubines. When she saw the injured Shen Yuan, her heart ached terribly: "My sweet child, how did you fall into this place?"

"Sweet child" was what her grandmother used to call her. Hearing the Empress Dowager use it now was undoubtedly a sign that she was standing by her side.