Chapter 23: We Are Both Different Now

The meeting with Madam Wang was set at Taiqing Lake.

By the time Shen Yuan arrived, a boat that had yet to depart was drifting upon the calm waters. Madam Wang was pacing back and forth on the shore, her face brightening the moment she caught sight of her.

"You girl, you certainly kept me waiting! I was beginning to think you wouldn't come."

Compared to the coolness of their previous meetings, Madam Wang was exceptionally warm this time. She took Shen Yuan’s hand affectionately, cradling it in her palms while inspecting her closely. As she looked toward the boat, which was just beginning to drift away, her eyes were filled with relief and hope. "Go on, good child."

Shen Yuan gazed at the lonely boat for a long moment, lost in thought, before slowly walking toward it. The vessel was empty, save for the boatman, who was busy with his chores with his back to the shore. Shen Yuan stepped aboard and sat down in the cabin.

Before long, she heard footsteps approaching. Shen Yuan lifted her eyes instinctively, just in time to see Lu Chengyuan, dressed in a dark green silk robe, ducking into the cabin.

Seemingly surprised to find her there, Lu Chengyuan instinctively recoiled. Finally, separated by a thin curtain, he asked, "Third Miss Shen?"

"It is I."

Lu Chengyuan’s expression grew visibly flustered. He hurriedly called out to the boatman to stop and turn the vessel back toward the shore. In broad daylight, for a man and a woman to be alone in such a confined space was truly a breach of propriety! Furthermore, Shen Yuan was not yet married; if word of this were to spread, would it not ruin her reputation?

Shen Yuan noticed his panic but did not stop him. She had anticipated that Lu Chengyuan would soon change his mind. As the boatman steered the vessel back toward the bank, Lu Chengyuan stood at the edge, his thoughts in a tangle of struggle.

"We have arrived. You may go ashore, Young Master."

The boat steadied. Lu Chengyuan stared at the chilly lake for two seconds, then offered an embarrassed bow of apology to the boatman. Awkwardly, he pushed aside the curtain and sat down beside Shen Yuan.

"Were you not going to leave?" she asked, looking up at him.

The light shining in her bright eyes made Lu Chengyuan feel so ashamed that he dared not meet her gaze. He shifted stiffly to the side and found a seat, explaining, "Mother told me that a building with a unique design had been constructed on the other side of Taiqing Lake, so I came specifically to observe it. I never expected..."

Shen Yuan asked deliberately, "Did you not want to see me?"

Lu Chengyuan gave a bitter smile and shook his head. A sense of sour melancholy welled up in his eyes as he sighed helplessly. "I am no longer the person I once was."

The childhood sweethearts, who had grown up together, were now living lives of quiet desperation. No one knew the psychological toll it took on Lu Chengyuan to utter such understated words. Having served as an official for many years and gained renown for his architectural expertise, he had long been accustomed to the envy and admiration of others. Then, one day, all that glory vanished like smoke, and everyone began to look at him with pity. Hidden within their gazes were various shades of mockery, cynicism, ridicule, and disdain. Lu Chengyuan longed to escape those malicious stares, yet he felt there was no way out.

"What a coincidence," Shen Yuan said, a mocking smile tugging at the corners of her lips. "It seems I, too, am no longer the person I once was."

Lu Chengyuan’s eyes faltered. He watched as she silently rolled up her sleeve, revealing several jagged, winding old scars. He was shaken, his voice trembling as he asked, "What is this..."

For a young girl to endure hunger, suffering, and bullying while wandering in displacement was common enough; simply surviving had been a feat in itself. Yet, what Lu Chengyuan had not expected was that as Shen Yuan displayed those crimson scars, her expression remained light, as if she were accustomed to them. She did not care. And now that the Shen family had found their biological daughter, Shen Wanning, surely Shen Yuan would be treated with even more prejudice.

A flicker of heartache shone in Lu Chengyuan’s long, somber gaze. Could it be that the sweet-talking little sister who used to follow him everywhere had also endured such worldly bitterness?

"My mother must have said something to you..." Lu Chengyuan lowered his eyes, his expression conflicted, before pausing as if hesitant.

Shen Yuan stared at him quietly, her eyes, as bright as spring, filled with a sense of compassion.

"If she said anything wrong or made you uncomfortable, I apologize on her behalf."

"You worry too much, Elder Brother Lu."

"I am referring to our marriage. My mother only wishes for me to settle down, but that would not be fair to you, nor to any other woman."

Everyone knew the state of Lu Chengyuan’s life. To become his partner, to endure the ridicule and scrutiny of others after marriage—was that not a form of torture?

"You have misunderstood, Elder Brother Lu. The reason I came to this meeting today was actually to discuss matters concerning my grandmother."

Facing Lu Chengyuan’s words, Shen Yuan evaded the topic and offered a faint smile. "I heard from Liuyan that every festival and New Year, you would visit the Shen manor to pay respects to my grandmother?"

Realizing he had spoken out of turn, Lu Chengyuan blushed—a rare occurrence. After his initial awkwardness, he answered earnestly, "Yes. A few days before the Old Madam passed away, I went to visit her."

At that time, Old Madam Luo had already been drifting in and out of lucidity, her condition poor, and she had often muttered Shen Yuan’s name. Fearing it would break her heart, Lu Chengyuan had not shared the details with her.

"Then... when you visited my grandmother, did you notice anything unusual?" Shen Yuan frowned, appearing genuinely concerned.

Because it involved Old Madam Luo, Lu Chengyuan dared not be careless. He recounted the events as he remembered them. "I remember that when I arrived, Aunt Chen and Fourth Miss Shen had just come out of the Old Madam’s courtyard. I don’t know what was said, but they did not seem to be in high spirits. When I went inside, the Old Madam was clutching her chest, struggling to breathe. Fortunately, the manor physician arrived in time."

Hearing that her mother and Shen Wanning had seen her grandmother, Shen Yuan’s eyes darkened. Recalling what the Empress Dowager had told her—that the Shen manor was not entirely innocent—could it be that her grandmother...

"A few days later, news of the Old Madam’s sudden death arrived. At the funeral, Uncle Shen worked tirelessly, and the Emperor even sent people to convey his condolences, bestowing the words 'Integrity and Filial Piety'."

Shen Yuan was familiar with those words. They were now carved into a plaque hanging in the Shen family ancestral hall—an honor that Shen Yong took great pride in. But in reality, how much genuine filial piety had he shown her grandmother? Who could truly say?

"The Old Madam has been gone for many years; why are you asking about this?" Lu Chengyuan asked casually.

Shen Yuan suppressed the coldness in her eyes and explained gently, "I saw the Empress Dowager at the palace recently, and she mentioned my grandmother, so I was merely feeling nostalgic."

He nodded, also feeling a touch of regret.

"So that is the boat where Lu Chengyuan and Shen Yuan are having their secret tryst?"

A sharp, clear female voice rang out over the lake. Shen Yuan listened intently, finding the voice somewhat familiar. She pulled back the curtain and saw, to her surprise, two familiar faces!

Zhang Yanran and Shen Wanning. How had they sniffed them out?

"Is it really you, Sister?"

Upon seeing Shen Yuan, Shen Wanning looked delighted. She lifted her skirt, stood up, and waved at her. "I thought you were at the Qiushui Pavilion. I never imagined you would be out boating! Is that Elder Brother Lu in the boat?"

Zhang Yanran said coldly, "Who else could it be? Out of all the noble scions in the capital, who else would want to be near Shen Yuan? They might even catch her venereal disease!"