Chapter 22: Let Us Begin Again

Shen Yuan felt a tremor in her heart and turned slightly, intentionally keeping her distance. "Breaking into a lady's chamber in the dead of night—does the Governor wish to be reviled by everyone in the Shen household?"

Pei Ji ignored her, his gaze fixed steadily upon her. It felt surreal, as if he were caught in a dream. In the past two years, no moment had ever felt as real as this. He no longer cared for restraints; letting the longing of two years past embolden him, he pulled Shen Yuan into his arms, heedless of the consequences.

"Why didn't you tell me? Why didn't you come looking for me?"

Pei Ji's voice was unsteady, his lips trembling with the fearful vulnerability of one terrified of being abandoned. Shen Yuan allowed him to hold her, wanting to speak, yet feeling that explanation was futile. She had mentioned Xue Zhao. Pei Ji must have uncovered the cause of his death. That was why he had broken into the Autumn Water Pavilion at such an hour, disregarding all rules and propriety.

"Pei Ji, none of it matters anymore."

Shen Yuan lowered her eyes, responding in a whisper. The past had dissipated like mist. She was now the third young lady of the Shen family, the Shen Yuan who had been lost and finally found. She was no longer Jiang Yao, that timid girl who only knew how to cater to and appease Pei Ji.

"How can it not matter?"

Pei Ji gripped Shen Yuan's shoulders, his heart aching with a bitterness that felt as if it had been carved by a blade. His voice turned hoarse. "I can break ties with the Pei family; I will not marry Shen Wanning. Even if you asked me to forsake my career, I would not hesitate! Jiang Yao, let us return to Qingzhou City, to the place where we began..."

"The capital is where I truly began."

Shen Yuan silently pulled his hands away, her dim eyes devoid of any light. Pei Ji understood her meaning, seeing his own defeat reflected in her pupils. A delayed, dull ache consumed him until not even his bones felt spared. Yet, he quickly composed himself, looking at her with resolute eyes. "We can make a fresh start here, too."

Shen Yuan stood stunned. She had not expected him to say such a thing; her mind was a tangle of confusion, and she did not know how to respond. She struggled to regain her composure, and just as she was about to refute him, she heard Pei Ji say with unwavering certainty, "Whether you are Jiang Yao or Shen Yuan, I want you."

Shen Yuan thought he had gone mad—utterly and completely insane.

Pei Ji gazed at her deeply, as if to carve the features he had struggled so hard to find into his very marrow. He did not even leave her a moment to reply. He had arrived without a sound, and he departed leaving no trace.

In the dead of night, the sound of rain in the courtyard gradually faded.

***

Shen Yuan curled up in bed, eyes closed, catching flashes of Pei Ji’s youthful face from time to time. She could not deny that those two years had been her most carefree. She tossed and turned all night, unable to find rest.

As dawn approached, Shen Yuan drifted into a fitful dream. In it, Xue Zhao shielded her with his body, and the blows of the men rained down like stones, leaving her gasping for air. Soon, she felt the hem of her skirt soaked with blood, and a searing, fatal pain swept through her entire body.

The next second, Shen Yuan jolted awake.

She instinctively touched her flat abdomen; the warm heartbeat was no longer there.

Liuyan lifted the beaded curtain and stepped inside. Seeing her pale complexion and the lingering fear in her eyes, she couldn't help but ask, "Did you have a nightmare, Miss?" She stepped forward, dabbing the sweat from Shen Yuan's brow with a silk handkerchief. "If you aren't feeling well, shall we cancel today's plans?"

Late yesterday evening, Lady Wang had sent word inviting Shen Yuan to go boating on the lake. Shen Yuan understood the hidden agenda behind the invitation, but she had agreed nonetheless.

"If I break the appointment, Lady Wang will surely be saddened. Very well, prepare for me to wash."

"Yes."

As Liuyan searched for an outfit, footsteps suddenly echoed outside the courtyard. Several maids entered, carrying newly purchased winter garments.

"Reporting to the Third Miss, the Second Young Master has personally purchased a batch of winter clothes and asked us to deliver them to you."

There was a cashmere cloak with a green lotus pattern and a light-patterned cloud-brocade cape. There were two robes of soft silver silk, two rouge-colored satin jackets with gold thread, and several expensive fox-fur coats.

"The Second Young Master?" Liuyan was stunned, looking at Shen Yuan in hesitation, unsure whether to accept.

Shen Yuan glanced at them indifferently. "Accept them."

Liuyan did as she was told, deliberately remarking, "The Second Young Master must have spent a fortune on these clothes. If the Fourth Miss sees them, she might turn green with envy!"

One of the maids replied tactfully, "The Second Young Master is fair; both young ladies received an identical set."

Shen Lang doted on Shen Wanning; how could he not keep her in mind? Shen Yuan understood. "You may go. Thank your master for me."

"Yes!"

Outside the Autumn Water Pavilion, Shen Lang paced back and forth on the bluestone path. Seeing the maids who had delivered the clothes exiting, he stopped one at random. "Did she accept them? Did she say anything?"

"The Third Miss said thank you."

Shen Lang frowned. "Just that? Did she not praise my generosity or say she was touched that I spent so much on her?"

The maid hesitated. "Perhaps... perhaps the Third Miss said more, but we did not hear it."

"Get out! Go away!"

Shen Lang felt a surge of irritation. Ever since the gathering at the lake pavilion, he had spent an entire night reflecting on his relationship with Shen Yuan. In the end, if he hadn't been so stubborn about taking little Shen Yuan out of the estate, she might never have gone missing! They wouldn't have been separated for years, leading to the current state where they were nothing more than strangers. Since Shen Yuan had safely returned, why did he, as her brother, harbor such hostility toward her?

Shen Lang could not fathom it, or perhaps he understood all too well but refused to face the truth. Her suffering had, in fact, been indirectly caused by him.

While he was lost in thought, Shen Yuan emerged from the pavilion. Seeing Shen Lang hesitating at the entrance, she smiled faintly. "What is the Second Brother doing at the door?"

"I..." Shen Lang was not at all prepared to face her. He stammered, "The... the scenery is nice here, I am just admiring the view."

Shen Yuan looked around. Of the entire estate, the Autumn Water Pavilion had the most ordinary surroundings. Could he really be interested in the scenery here?

"Then please continue to enjoy the view, Second Brother. I shall take my leave." She moved to step past him.

"Wait!"

Seeing her about to leave, Shen Lang instinctively called out.

Shen Yuan turned back. "Is there something else?"

"I... I went out early this morning to buy those winter clothes for you. Both the style and the fabric are the most precious and high-quality in the capital. You didn't even thank me to my face, and now you act as if you didn't know!"

After finishing his accusation, Shen Lang breathed heavily.

Shen Yuan curled her lips and turned back, bowing slightly in a gesture of courtesy. Her tone was sincere. "I like the clothes you purchased very much, and I thank you from the bottom of my heart, Second Brother. But I have an appointment today and truly have no time for pleasantries. If you wish to find someone to bicker with, you should go look for Shen Yu instead!"

What did she mean by wanting to find someone to bicker with? Did he only come to see her to start an argument? Shen Lang recalled their past interactions—it seemed... there wasn't a single time they hadn't ended up quarreling.

"Miss, it is getting late," Liuyan whispered beside her.

Shen Yuan nodded, bowed to Shen Lang once more, and left without looking back.

Shen Lang was left standing there, dazed, wanting to say something more. He knew Lady Wang had invited Shen Yuan, and he was well aware of her intentions. Although their parents had set their sights on Lu Chengyuan, would Shen Yuan... have no opinion of her own? Would she not oppose it?