Chapter Fifteen: The Years Like a Song, Drifting Further Away
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As the second half of her senior year began, the atmosphere on campus grew increasingly tense. Every day, nearly all the students prepared for the approaching college entrance examination. The pace of revision quickened, and the pressure of their studies gradually neared its limit.
Despite this, Lin Ke'er remained as calm and focused as ever. Each morning, she rose early to go running, immersing herself in the tranquility and freedom that belonged solely to her. At that hour, the sun had only just risen, and the air carried a damp freshness. Every tree on campus basked in the morning light, as though encouraging her to keep moving forward.
She had known since childhood that she was easily swayed by emotion. Shen Haoran's departure had left a momentary emptiness in her world. During that time, she seemed to lose all motivation, her heart filled with frustration and confusion. She did not know whether, after everything she had experienced, she could return to the girl who had once loved studying and devoted herself to it wholeheartedly.
Yet gradually, as time passed, she realized that only by returning to her books and concentrating on each problem before her could she hope to find the answers—and discover the future that belonged to her.
That day, after school, Lin Ke'er walked home. The scenery around her seemed to reflect her mood, carrying the feeling of something slowly receding into the distance. Outside the school, the evening sunlight was no longer harsh but had softened, spilling across the streets and stretching her shadow long behind her. Her steps slowed as well, as though each one were bidding farewell to some emotion buried deep within her heart.
Suddenly, her phone rang. It was a message from Xiaomei:
“Are you free tonight? Let’s go for a walk together and relax a little.”
Lin Ke'er lowered her head to look at the screen. The corners of her lips lifted slightly, and the weariness in her heart seemed to ease. She replied:
“Sure. See you tonight.”
That evening, Lin Ke'er met Xiaomei as promised. Together, they walked slowly along a familiar path, surrounded by warm streetlights and drifting floral scents. A faint, refreshing fragrance lingered in the air, evoking a long-lost peace.
They passed through the park they often visited. Trees grew thickly there, and every so often a few birds flew past, stirring a gentle breeze.
“Xiaomei, how have you been lately?” Lin Ke'er asked suddenly, her voice carrying a trace of fatigue.
Xiaomei glanced at her and shook her head with a smile. “I’m fine. What about you? Lately, you always seem preoccupied. Are you thinking about Shen Haoran again?”
Lin Ke'er did not answer directly. Instead, she turned her gaze toward the distant horizon. Stars speckled the night sky, and moonlight flowed like water, illuminating the thoughtful expression on her face.
She sighed softly. “Actually, I’m not worried about what will happen to Shen Haoran. I’m worried that I may never find that kind of pure feeling again. You know, sometimes I even wonder whether all the beauty of youth is destined to remain only in our memories.”
Xiaomei stopped and turned to face her.
“You can’t think that way. Youth isn’t only about loving someone, or about one particular relationship. Youth is everything we gain as we continue to grow—the strength and courage we acquire along the way. And at the heart of all that is not someone else, but you.”
Lin Ke'er listened in silence, yet her heart began to stir. She remembered the laughter and tears of her younger years, and every dawn and dusk she had once spent with Shen Haoran on campus. She had been so determined to hold on to him, as though, so long as he remained by her side, nothing else in the world mattered.
But with the passage of time, she gradually came to understand that her life did not depend on any one person.
“You’re right. Perhaps I’ve been relying too much on the past.” Lin Ke'er smiled faintly. “I think I should learn to let go, shouldn’t I? Just as you said, youth is a journey that belongs to oneself. It isn’t only about him—or anyone else.”
Xiaomei patted her shoulder and smiled. “Now that’s the you I know. You’ve become more mature than I ever imagined. Perhaps this is what growing up means.”
She turned and continued walking. “Come on. Let’s keep going and relax a little.”
Lin Ke'er nodded slightly and turned her eyes back toward the night sky. Her heart suddenly felt much lighter. She began to believe that she truly could let go of the past and face every challenge the future brought.
No matter how unpredictable the road ahead might be, at least she had found the courage to walk it.
The two continued side by side, and everything around them seemed to grow more beautiful. The trees lining the street swayed gently in the evening breeze, while starlight fell upon them. The air was fresh and filled with a quiet strength.
Lin Ke'er felt a warm power stirring silently within her. It came from the determination in her heart and from her anticipation of the future.
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Just then, her phone rang again. Lin Ke'er glanced down and saw a message from Shen Haoran:
“Ke'er, how have you been lately? Keep going. No matter how difficult the college entrance examination is, I believe you can do it.”
Lin Ke'er's heartbeat quickened at once. Her fingers brushed lightly across the screen, and a smile rose involuntarily to her lips.
That person seemed to remain forever in her life, quietly watching over her and encouraging her. Although their relationship had grown distant, every message and every word of concern brought her an inexplicable warmth and comfort.
She quickly replied:
“Thank you, Haoran. I’ll do my best. You too.”
Then she put her phone back into her bag and continued walking through the night.
Although the road ahead was still filled with uncertainty and challenges, Lin Ke'er understood that no matter how this period of youth ended, it would remain deeply engraved in her heart forever. There had once been someone in her life who had given her so many beautiful memories. Those memories had become part of the deepest reaches of her heart, and a source of strength that urged her onward.
“Ke'er, look. Isn’t the moon beautiful?” Xiaomei suddenly stopped and pointed at the full moon overhead.
Lin Ke'er looked up. Bright moonlight spilled across the earth, as though coating everything in a layer of silver radiance. She smiled faintly, and a warm feeling suddenly welled up inside her.
She knew that no matter what the future held, she would no longer be alone. Because she had experienced this season of youth and once possessed such pure feelings, her spirit would remain young forever.
“Yes, the moon is beautiful,” she murmured, determination shining in her eyes.
Lin Ke'er and Xiaomei continued along the familiar path, their steps light and unhurried. The night breeze brushed past, lifting the ends of Lin Ke'er's hair and bringing a trace of coolness. Although the weather was gradually turning colder, the air still held a hint of late-summer warmth.
The trees along both sides of the street swayed gently in the wind, their leaves whispering as though they were saying something to one another. The two girls walked slowly through the familiar neighborhood, neither hurrying nor lingering. Their hearts felt somewhat airy, somewhat reluctant to let go, but above all, they were filled with an indescribable peace.
“Xiaomei, have you ever thought about where we’ll go after graduation?” Lin Ke'er suddenly asked, breaking the silence. She looked at Xiaomei, uncertainty and confusion flickering in her eyes.
Xiaomei smiled, a mischievous glint appearing in her eyes. “You always think about too many things. The college entrance examination hasn’t even arrived, and you’re already worrying about the future. I’ve always believed that after graduation, each of us will find our own path. Our paths may be different, but in the end, each of us will have a life of our own brilliance.”
Lin Ke'er's eyes shifted slightly, and a tender smile touched her lips. She knew how optimistic and steadfast Xiaomei was, yet she still could not suppress the anxiety she felt toward the unknown future.
They had grown up together, spending every day side by side. Throughout Lin Ke'er's growth, Xiaomei had always been there. But would life after graduation truly be as easy as Xiaomei claimed? If their futures led them in different directions, could they preserve the closeness and dependence they had once shared?
“Xiaomei, sometimes I wonder whether we’ll become strangers after graduation,” she said softly, her gaze settling on the streetlamp ahead, her expression thoughtful.
Xiaomei stopped and looked back at her, warmth and encouragement in her eyes.
“Don’t you think true friendship grows deeper after being tested by time? No matter where we are or what we do, we’ll stay in touch and support each other.” She patted Lin Ke'er's shoulder. “You have to believe that we aren’t ordinary friends. We’re the kind of friends who can walk a very long way together.”
Lin Ke'er was momentarily stunned, complicated emotions passing through her eyes. Then she nodded gently, a smile curving her lips.
“Thank you, Xiaomei. You always give me strength when I need it most.”
“Little Ke'er, stop being so sentimental. You’re such a strong person. No matter what happens, I believe you’ll find the light that belongs to you.”
Xiaomei smiled brightly, her eyes filled with unwavering conviction.
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They continued walking, and gradually their conversation turned lighter. They talked about the approaching college entrance examination and the universities they might attend after graduation.
At last, Lin Ke'er felt a long-lost sense of relaxation. The weight that had seemed to press upon her shoulders was slowly replaced by the care and encouragement of her friend.
But as the night deepened, Lin Ke'er's mood gradually grew heavy again without her realizing it. Her gaze fell upon the flickering streetlights ahead. Their points of light resembled distant stars—far away, yet almost close enough to touch in the darkness.
She suddenly remembered how stubbornly she had clung to the years of youth she had spent with Shen Haoran, how completely she had once depended on him. But now, everything seemed to have changed. Their relationship had gradually grown distant, and the deep feelings they once shared had become blurred. She even began to wonder whether the attachment hidden in her heart could ever again be as pure and beautiful as it had once been.
Shen Haoran's existence was like a distant star—brilliant, yet beyond her reach.
Lin Ke'er realized that she was no longer the innocent girl who relied on him and bound her future tightly to his. Her heart had grown stronger, and she had gradually learned how to continue onward alone.
Although a thread of concern still remained within her, she was beginning to learn how to find the star that belonged to her in that vast night sky.
“Xiaomei, do you think some feelings become blurred as time passes?” Lin Ke'er asked suddenly, her voice low.
Xiaomei did not answer at once. She stopped and looked quietly at her. Only after a long while did she speak softly.
“Feelings should change as we grow. When we’re young, we tend to place too much importance on certain things, believing they are our only source of support. But as time goes by, we discover that the feelings that once occupied our entire world may not be the only things that matter. They become part of us and continue to exist, but they are no longer our sole direction.”
Lin Ke'er listened in silence. Xiaomei's words were like a gentle breeze brushing across her heart, carrying away some of the heaviness that had troubled her for so long.
A sense of release, long absent from her heart, suddenly returned. The feelings and thoughts that had once confused her seemed, at that moment, to have found a place to rest.
“Thank you, Xiaomei,” Lin Ke'er said softly, emotion rising within her.
“Silly girl, what are you thanking me for?” Xiaomei smiled. “When have you ever understood these things less clearly than I do?”
They continued along the road, and the atmosphere gradually grew lighter. They talked about their dreams for the future and amusing memories from the past. Every now and then, they paused to feel the faint breeze descending from the treetops.
The scenery around them grew increasingly indistinct, while their hearts seemed to draw ever closer together. On that quiet night, Lin Ke'er finally experienced a long-lost sense of peace.
Looking down at her steps, she gradually realized that no matter what the future held, she already possessed enough courage to face it all. Whether or not Shen Haoran appeared in her life again, she could still go farther on her own.
Perhaps she would meet more people and experience more things, discovering more of the light that belonged to her.
Beneath the night sky, the moon still hung high above, radiating a warm glow. Lin Ke'er lifted her head and gazed quietly at the full moon. A firm resolve, unlike anything she had ever known, slowly took root in her heart.
She knew that no matter what the future brought, she would never lose herself again. Instead, she would move courageously toward a direction filled with hope and dreams.
“The moon is beautiful,” she whispered.
“Yes, it is,” Xiaomei replied with a smile, gazing up at the sky as though sharing with her the peacefulness that belonged to their youth.
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